Adoption Day- A Sister’s View

In honor of National Adoption Month and National Adoption Day, here is a blog post about an adoption hearing I attended for two of my siblings. I orginally posted this story in 2017, though I have updated it (after all, I have now attended a few more adoption hearings). The story still rings true and I hope it gives you an understanding of what “adoption day” is like for an adoptive family.

Have you ever been to a final adoption hearing?

An adoption day is full of paradoxical emotions. At least it is for me. I have been to mulitple adoption finalization hearings. At each one I got new siblings. The day my family officially adopted my brother and sister from foster care, I had two thoughts:

Continue reading “Adoption Day- A Sister’s View”


Adoption Day- A Sister’s View

Have you ever been to a final adoption hearing?

An adoption day is full of paradoxical emotions. At least it is for me. I have been to two adoption finalization hearings (both times I got new siblings). I am soon going to another (to get more siblings). The day my family officially adopted my brother and sister from foster care, I had two thoughts:

Continue reading “Adoption Day- A Sister’s View”

‘Closure’ Documentary Review

Ever wondered what it is like for an adoptee to search for and meet her birth parents?

‘Closure’ Trailer

This is usually a private, very personal journey, but Angela and Byran Tucker invite people into this sacred passage in their documentary Closure. It centers around Angela, a trans-racial adoptee, and her search to find her birth mother, birth father, and eventually her entire biological family. Well, not entire family- but I won’t give too much away.

The relationship between a child who is adopted and their biological family is always a unique, personal story. Closure allows viewers to get a glimpse of what it is like for an adoptee to process their own story and identity. Angela and her family- adopted and biological- have invited the viewers into their lives, openly sharing their fears, hopes, and hurts. I cannot emphasize enough how transparent Angela and her family are on this sacred ground, in their hopes to educate and encourage others.

Closure is currently on Netflix and can also be found on Amazon Video. The website is

Brothers and Sisters: BFFs?

“Brothers and sisters are among the most important people in life, yet often they are also the most trouble.”
Making Brothers and Sisters Best Friends

Do you know what the first sibling interaction ever recorded was? Cain murdering his brother Abel.

Great start to the whole sibling thing, right?

I love my siblings. We want to be friends. We have each others backs. We know each other better than anyone else (yet we still surprise each other). There may not be such a thing as a perfect relationship, but I would say we come fairly close.

It is not because we never get on each others’ nerves (we do). Not because we always get along (we do not). Not because our personalities work well together either (because some of us are friends in spite of our differences ).

The biggest reason is because we have realized how valuable our relationships are. We made the choice to be friends. We mess up but we never let our mistakes be the last word.

One tool that helped us is a book called Making Brothers and Sisters Best Friends. A family of two sisters and a brother wrote the book together. Out of their own experiences becoming best friends, they give practical ways for other siblings to improve their relationships. They put into words the vision of siblings being the strongest allies we could ever have.

This book helped my siblings and I realize that we were on the same team. My family read it together when we kids were in elementary and middle school. That seems to be a good age for this book. Older kids and adults will appreciate “Stephen’s Definitions” and the comics. I would encourage your family to read it together.

The book gave us the vision that we could be allies towards a bigger goal. Part of that goal is welcoming foster children into our home. We permanent siblings are strong enough to build each other up with some love left over. Because we have each other, we do not look to foster kiddos to fill our needs (or as competition). Foster kids get a taste of what a family should be; a sort of trial membership. They get all the benefits for as long as they live with us, at no cost to them.

This did not happen overnight. Our sibling relationship is something we have to fight for. It is work. It is so worth it though. My siblings are my treasures.

Now I have younger adopted siblings. Oh man, I love those kiddos. My little siblings are another big reason I am glad I can live at home. Since there is such an age difference between us, we may not have as many years to deeply bond like we would if we were closer in age. Each day I do have with them now is an extra blessing. I want us to develop as deep a bond as we can while we still live together. When the time comes and I do move away, hopefully our relationship will be established enough to withstand any distance. Seriously, though I do not want to move away too soon or too far- I would miss them too much.

It is scary to think of my brothers getting ready to move out on their own. They are men and can handle it- but I am not sure if I can. As far back as I can remember in my life, they have been there with me. It will be weird one day when they are not.

I am not worried about my soon-to-graduate sister. She cannot leave- I will not let her. She is my partner in crime forever. We often joke about the White Christmas song “Sisters” where they sing “Lord help the mister who comes between me and my sister…”. Everyday we confirm how we each keep half of the other’s brain. We have to stay together to have maximum brain power.

My other sister and I have plans too. We would move to New York, of course. Together we would get a little apartment while she becomes a prima ballerina and an innovative fashion designer. I do not want her to leave me, but she is growing up by the hour. Each day she is a bit more of a young lady; beautiful, clever, poised, ambitious, and confident (even if she does not see how much she really is). I love her.

Siblings. You share the same parents; house; childhood. They are the closest humans to you; yet totally different. Thing is, you can spend your life fighting against these people or you can become greatest allies and friends, withstanding anything life throws at you.

Foster Grandmas

I have three grandmas. One is my mom’s mother, one is my father’s mother, and one is my “adopted” granny. Not to confuse you; it is not a legal adoption. It is our sweet way of saying how much we love each other and what type of role we play in each other’s lives. Fitting for my family, right? Since my family takes in foster children, these women get to be “foster grandmas”. It is a role they all embrace and fulfill in their own way.

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