Babies are like puppies.

They both come over to where you are cleaning and try to lick their own puke.

Maybe sometimes, despite your yelling and snatching them away, they are still successful in getting a taste test.

Now I am gagging.


Bad Call

Does she stare at me or is it just my imagination?

She is with her sisters. They look remarkably alike. All of them look at me now. Do they know who I am?

One of her sisters has a baby sitting in the shopping cart, but my friend doesn’t have her kid with her. Was the child removed?

Months ago, that one day when it happened- I didn’t even know she lived there. But I saw. And I knew her. And she walked into her house, so then I knew her address.

I am a mandatory reporter.

So I called the intake worker at social services to make a report. Funny, I knew the worker who answered, which made it easier in a way. Still, my hands shook as I held the phone.

I hated phone calls anyway, but that one could have consequences.

Back home from the store, I snoop on Facebook. Turns out she no longer has her child in her custody.

This really just boils down to the selfish question that haunts me, like her gaze does every time I see her at the store. Does she blame me for losing her child?

And why do I even think that? Social workers and judges are the ones who actually deal with angry parents everyday.

But little me? That was my first report and I am a scardy cat.

Happy = Shallow (FMF)

Happy is a shallow word.

That is what I was going to write about. Then I read the intriguing post by Jennifer Dukes Lee about daring to be happy in the midst of plain life.

I too have moved to a “fly-over” state. I feel like God has exiled me here for some unknown reason. Joy seems illusive for me.

Then this morning an Oswald Chambers devotion talked about God’s bewildering purposes. Yep, I am there. Bewildered. Not happy. Thing is, it talked about how when we look at the circumstances, we will be frustrated and confused, but when we focus on God, and a close relationship with Him, then we have peace that surpasses all understanding.

I am happy here in “exile” when I don’t think about how I am an adult and can leave this place. When I put that out of my mind as a possibility (because if I want to obey God, moving away right now is not a possibility), I can enjoy the beauty that is here- walking to a lake, my little siblings laughter, the sound of raindrops on the roof.

Maybe happiness is more complicated than I thought.


Five Minute Friday is a link-up where you free write for 5 minutes on the topic. This week’s topic is Happy. Find other blogger’s interpretations here.

Ugh. If only it were as easy as knowing you should be happy to actually be happy. Although today I am going to choose to be “happy”.

Still having a hard time using that shallow word 🙂