Five Minute Friday is a link-up where you free write for 5 minutes on the topic. This week’s topic is Doubt. Find other blogger’s interpretations here.
Though the focus of this word often refers to doubting God, today I am digging into another issue.
I doubt other people’s sincerity. When people compliment me, my mind races to figure out what they are trying to get out of me. All these years, I never believe my dad when he tells me how beautiful I am. Isn’t he just saying that to look like a good parent? Acquaintances ask me questions and I suspect them of getting info to gossip about me.
I just doubt other people’s intentions. Why?
-I doubt my own intentions and decisions (when I have trusted people before, they turned out to hurt me)
-I doubt my ability to be a good friend (so I push people away before I can hurt them)
Basically it’s my problem. I don’t want the wool pulled over my eyes again. I will forgo relationships to make sure that I am not the fool again. But in doing so, I think I am fooling myself.
I don’t want to hurt people! I don’t want to make a mistake, but I will- because I am human and flawed and so are they. Instead of using flaws as a reason to end a friendship, perhaps that is the very place a relationship can be made strong.
Of course people make mistakes. Humans have selfish tendencies. Humans lie, gossip, and break trust. There are humans, however, who don’t let this be a rule. When they break trust, it is an exception to how they normally are. And if they have hurt their friend, they move to fix it.
That is what makes a true friend, which is someone I want to be. Not someone who never makes mistakes, but realizes that we do, then goes to reconcile the mistake. That is friendship.
So maybe I need to stop letting my doubts about people control me. I need to give them grace, and give myself grace as well.
At least, that is what the word “doubt” brings to my mind.